The oration was a blend of klingon and swahili, barely decipherable. Stay with it and maybe there's an explanation.

The prologue explains the discord:
the guy's brain distorts his tongues into stage quality diction caused by an affliction called self contained gloat. He believes he's making sense. The best explanation of it is another two-fold. The side effect of zip filing your feelings touting success is having to develop a pause between action and reaction without said pause slowing down/fragmenting your speech pattern. It can imitate the angst when opening the wrapping on expired Starbursts.

Fuller house initiates the launch sequence for taking the 'tate on a slow ride. Her elation erupted like blue balled coxcomb on his one night of the year just as the driveway suddenly was flex laden. Feels like a hoot about to happen.